Can You Love Someone and Not Respect Them?

Pillow Talk Feb 12, 2021

This question came about as a result of my discussion with a friend, and I’ll like to know what you all think.

The Genesis

He posted on his status that “Women want love, and men want respect” and gave supporting points to explain this. In my usual “nosey and curious way” I asked what respect meant in this contest. He said it’s “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements” and that a man values respect more than love.

My Take

I understood him, especially having heard this particular school of thought for years. I also agree but only to a certain extent.

But my question was simple; can you love someone and not respect them?

I think everyone wants to be respected, irrespective of gender, but what we regard as respect and disrespect may vary. For instance, while a husband may find it disrespectful and disloyal that his wife built a house without his knowledge, a wife will most likely accept that it was meant to be a surprise.

However, I believe those two, love and respect are not mutually exclusive. You can respect someone without necessarily loving them, but how do you say you truly love a person and not respect them. (Respect in its true sense though, and not the "you must do as I say and never disagree" brand of respect).

Let me know your take on this?

Is it possible to love and not respect a person?

*Originally published 10 July 2020


Taiwo Ajuwon

I am a story teller with a wild mind for creating worlds and bringing ideas to life.

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