What Word Has Been Used To Describe You That Is Completely Untrue?

Aggressive: “ready or likely to attack or confront”

That was the word that had a few times been used to describe me, usually by people, mostly older who didn’t appreciate being questioned.  I knew it didn’t describe me. How could I be aggressive when I didn’t even like to attack or confront? I simply question things or express my mind whenever it was necessary to do so.

I didn’t like it but I didn’t have a rebuttal adjective, so I got used to pretending that it didn’t bother me.

Then on my 21st birthday, I found a new adjective. My twin and I had insisted on a small party in our living room, one with only our friends and a few close relatives. I was having a good time until it was time to talk about the celebrants. In the way twins were often spoken about (with a concealed and often unconscious comparison), guests got up one after the other and spoke about us.

An older relative spoke about my sister and how quiet and gentle she is (all true by the way, and while I’m not a complete opposite, those two words do not describe me). Then she continued, “But Taiwo is outspoken and aggressive.”

I was hurt, but I managed to swallow the threatening tears and feign a smile.

Then an old friend and high school classmate got up, and he started with “Taiwo is not aggressive, she is assertive. She speaks her mind and that’s it.”

Aggressive: “ready or likely to attack or confront”

I could swear that my eyes lit up. Finally! I had found a word that described what I already knew. And it just happens to be a word that is synonymous with aggressive, yet still manages to mean different things.

I often wonder if my old friend Ayooluwa remembers that day and the impact of his words.

Do you have an adjective of your own? Share below in the comments.